The Chivalrous Negro

How many ladies out there have heard some of the following while walking?

Say girl, let me holla at you!

Psst, hey Shorty come here!

Sexy Red!

Hey Ma!

*Car honking* and bunch of random dudes staring out the vehicle like a pack of hyenas

To most of you, this is nothing new and unfortunately the likely response if you ignore the cat calls is on the line of, “Well f*ck you then, b*tch! You ain’t cute no way, stank ass hoe!” As a man, I must say that I apologize for this ladies, but let me give you a little insight into what I like to call The Chivalrous N*gga.

Most of the dudes who approach women like this grew up in a certain environment. First off, all men regardless of race are taught, whether subliminally or consciously, that your manhood is defined by the amount of women you have. This has been the norm since the beginning of time and you even see it in the animal kingdom. Now add that to what us negros see when we come up, rappers treating women any kind of way and ladies responding positively. Or the dudes in the hood with the fancy cars and rims pulling all the bad b*tches and treating them like crap…but the girls keep coming. This type of behavior sticks in a young kid’s head so when they grow up posted on the corner with their boys and a fine woman walks by, out come the cat calls. Now the interesting thing about this is that in their minds they are being polite, hence why when a young lady doesn’t respond, she’s a stuck up b*tch. This is because in his eyes, he approached her correctly. Now there are a couple of reasons for this thinking.

1. He has never seen any man approach a woman in any other way and where he grew up all the girls responded so how can you blame him if this is all he knows?

2. He’s with his boys and how would he look acting all polite and sh*t? Or even if he’s not around his boys, he’s a thug n*gga till the death and this is as polite as it gets.

This may have worked with the girls around the hood, but when he steps out of his element, that is when he starts to fail. The majority of women don’t respond to that BS. Getting a woman’s attention by noting her skin tone or just the generic “let me holla at you,” is not the right way to go. It also doesn’t help that the guys have their boxers showing while they are sagging their skinny jeans. There may be a misconception that if they don’t approach a woman this way, then they lack confidence. I’m all for confidence, but there is a certain way to go about it. I’d be willing to put money down that a guy would at least get a cordial response from a lady if he came correct. Now I’m not saying that he’ll get her number, but she’ll at least speak, and nicely at that. On the flip side, most of these same dudes who approach a woman any kind of way would feel upset if another guy talked to their sister like that. But oddly enough, it’s alright for them to speak to women as they so choose. With that, what are your thoughts on the way guys approach women?

About Tha Doc

Like the tallest Redwood, you won’t be able to grow without both the sunshine and the rain...
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3 Responses to The Chivalrous Negro

  1. Supreme Soul says:

    I’m surprised that Dope! didn’t respond to this one since he’s such a lady’s man! And I’m even further surprised that no ladies responded to this one! But I will say that I agree with you Doc…the way that some men approach women is all wrong, but often is all they know. Or they feel like they can’t be rejected in front of their people by anybody so they have to say something degrading to the woman to save face. It is a very common thing…and doesn’t seem to have an end in sight…smh!

  2. TT says:

    I understand the idea of nurturing qualities in a person, however there must be some sense of integrity. Please note I am not strictly speaking of male to female relations. What about respect for your fellow (wo)man? The ultimate goal should be to treat each other well, man or woman. If your peers are doing something you feel is wrong, why emulate that? The idea that everyone is so easily influenced takes away any sense of personal responsibility. While a large group of men may beat their chests and howl like beasts in the presence of a woman, this is not true for all raised in the same environment.

    As a woman, I see many of my peers accept these insipid, derogatory “cat calls” as the norm. Does this mean I follow suit and accept this idiocy? Hell no! I take the derisive remarks to my silence and chastisement as proof that they are unworthy of my time. These “men” you refer to are undeserving of the term if they are so easily swayed and embarrassed. If the opinions of others carry so much weight, it hints that they are in fact not man enough to stand on their own. Let’s imagine this is in fact the animal kingdom. Their weakness of mind makes them an intolerable partner. They are unable to protect and care for their women because they are not a leader. While they play the buffoon, another man who killed dinner and built a fire is sweeping in to steal their delightful women..

    Also, a woman who responds to this gorilla technique, gets all that entails. Similarly, so does he. If this couple is happy, I shall not complain.

    An end to this foolishness begins with personal responsibility, not excuses. I hope the taunts and whistles keep these men warm at night.

    • Tha Doc says:

      You ma’am, have hit the nail on the head. It appears that these fellas would rather please their friends by acting out in front of a woman rather than being polite. I’m also glad that you mentioned the women who accept this as the norm; when even if it is considered “norm” where they live, it doesn’t make it right. Everyone is just following what others around them are doing and not changing for fear of ridicule. I commend you for not entertaining this behavior and like you said it does begin with personal responsibility (as do alot of other things that plague our people).

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