In keeping with the late October/Halloween mindset, I decided to write about the main purpose of Halloween for mostly everyone. I refer to them as the two Cs…costumes and candy. Well this post will focus more on the latter just because I feel like it would be more appropriate seeing as I like candy more than costumes!
So I take trip back to when I was a kid, and I knew I was going trick or treating. The first thing I thought about was where could I get the best candy, but more importantly what was the best candy to get. I mean you can get certain types of candy every day, but there’s something about Halloween that made some candy makers step their game up. So out come all the “bite sized” and the “special editions” of the classics I came to love. Twix, Reese’s, Skittles, Starburst, Blow Pops, Jolly Ranchers, Now & Laters, and the list goes on and on. It’s always great to get this kind of candy. Think about how much fun it was when you got home to dig through your huge bag (or bags if you were like me) after all that hard work of dressing up and saying that phrase over and over all night and finally enjoy the “fruit flavors” of your labor. I actually believe you earned that candy and should be rewarded with candy that you enjoy and that you can be proud of when you take it with you the next day.
But there are always some cheap people who have to buy the FAMILY SIZED bags of nasty generic candy with no taste and give it to others with no remorse. They truly think it’s a good thing when they smile and throw that disgusting sh*t in the bag, only for it to be met with disgust when it is later discovered. These candies are easy to identify and I’m sure many of you know them well. Things like butterscotch, licorice, pepper mints, bubble gum wrapped in aluminum foil, that candy wrapped in orange or black paper with no name! And perhaps the most dreadful of them all…candy corn! Oh it hurts to even remember how nasty that sh*t tastes, and it should be outlawed for children everywhere!
Now I’m not saying that this type of candy doesn’t have a purpose in life; I just don’t know what that purpose is just yet. If you happen to like this candy then go right ahead and enjoy it. All I’m saying is please stop poisoning me and all the other little kids out there with these horrible concoctions otherwise known as “pocket candy”! “Pocket candy” is not Halloween candy! It never has been and never will be!
So if you choose to give out candy for any Halloween in the near future…do all the kids in your neighborhood a favor and go buy some real candy to distribute. They will thank you….crime rates will go down….global warming will stop….and…ok maybe not all of this, but you will have made me happy that I didn’t write this for nothing.
– Supreme Soul